Thursday, 3 December 2009

Tweedle dumbs

Of lawls and gawds, there was a hunch-backed stud boy
Tweedle dumb his name, the comp his only toy

Buzz and ping he would, on Fb, orkut and twitter
Rain and sunshine, his butt huge, his fingers were getting fitter

Twenty friendship requests he’d send each precious day
But twenty one rejects he’d get back; his days were always grey

And then one day he found a very sexy lass
Watching her profile pic, he let out all his gas

He sighed and sighed, and sighed and sighed
Sweat beaded up on his snake like hide

She accepted the request, he jumped with ecstacy
He was in that thing called love, his brain went fuzzy

He pried through all her pouting photos, single and group
Watching her every click and hi, now he’d constantly snoop

Hacking her passwords, her days and her dreams
Tweedle dumb stalked her, in a manner rather grim

The sexy lass dumped his friendship via a status update
Tweedle dumb fumed, broke his chair and spit at his fate

He stalked her more, made morphed nude pics of hers
And blackmailed to send them to all her fb brothers

Crying and crying the sexy lass ran
The fastest she could to her wise old gran

“Tweedle dumb”, roared the giant lady with a tiny pet crow
“If you snoop and stalk, I will make your nose grow and grow”

“You send the photos to me and I shall burn them away”
“If I hear of your antics again, I shall stuff your mouth with poisoned hay”

“Ha!” said Tweedle, you are an old, ugly hag
Do not mess with me, or I shall choke you with a rag

Tweedle went his way and opened his fb account
‘Click, click’ and he was on the day’s tenth spying count

He wrote to her “Come to me and we shall be happy”
If you do not, I’ll make your life real real crappy

The final click on ‘comment’, and his nose felt really weird
With a sudden jolt, his nose was as long as the hermit’s beard

‘Wham! Wham! Wham!’, he hit his nose
Hoping it would get, if not normal, then at least close

He wrote another comment, ‘I love you, and I want you’
His nose now touched the ground, and he rushed to the loo

‘Burn the photos!!!’ Gran’s voice boomed
Or else prepare well to see your life get doomed

“I will not listen to you old hag!” screamed the sick brained man
“Ok” said Gran, “then watch your fingers grow each time you plan”

Tweedle rushed to his toy, glued to the chair he started scheming
But ‘SwOOOOOsh’ and his fingers grew, his nails now gleaming

“Ouch! I can’t type! My fingers hurt and now bleed pus!”
Tweedle dumb jumped up and down creating quite a ruckus

“Old Gran help me, I shall not stalk, snoop or pry!”
“Just get me out of this mess”, Tweedle let out an anguishing cry

“Ha ha ha!!, Tweedle you are really very dumb!”
“You do not listen to what I say and then break down into a crumb”

“Take the photos Gran, take them all away!”
“If I ever repeat this heinous act, then stuff me with the hay”

“I shall make your nose grow back and let your fingers stay
And give you another chance, but I will have the last say”

“If I hear another complain, a whine or see another tear
I shall rip your soul apart, and the other similar tweedles shall die of fear”

“Actually let me cast a spell to make sure all you tweedles behave
Not a mere fb block, around which all the tweedles find a way”

“When another tweedle strikes, this Gran will surely rise
Be scared all you tweedles, stop those random hellos and hi’s”

“So, Bling Blang Bloong! When the clicks boom”
“Let the tweedles wear their nose so long, that they’re never a fitting groom”

“And, Bling! Blang! Bloong! When the clicks boom
Let their fingers die out right then, and bring close their doom”

Tweedle dumb sighed, and cried the next 365 days
“I will not stalk, I promise, just give me peace”, he’d pray

And although the tweedle dumbs of today still stalk, snoop and spy
Gran lies in the dark, her claws itching to make them cry

So of rofl's and lols, there was a hunch-backed stud boy
Tweedle dumb his name, nobody does he now annoy


9 comments:

Dishman said...

Can i be ur Fraaand..:P.. Nice one!!

Aditya said...

Nice one Shreya!

blank_confusion said...

@Nishad: I'll think it over..:P
Thanks!
@Aditya: Thank you thank you

masoom said...

awesome!!

jd said...

Good one...

Kolor said...

Loved the flow.. :)

Ashish said...

where is the "love" button? :)

blank_confusion said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kokonad said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!
To think, this could be one of those fables kids of the 2020s would hear when growing up. Moral: Don't lie or old hag (or 'senior woman', to be politically correct) will get you.